What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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