Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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