Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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