Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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