How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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