Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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