Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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