What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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