Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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