What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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