How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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