How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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