The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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