What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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