How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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