Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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