What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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