What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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