What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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