What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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