How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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