Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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