Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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