What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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