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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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