How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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