Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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