What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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