Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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