What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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