What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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