How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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