Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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