Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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