How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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