So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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