Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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