Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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