How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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