What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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