How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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