I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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