How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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