What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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