Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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