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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?
Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?
. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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