What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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