What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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