What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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