Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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