What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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