Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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