What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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