What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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