A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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