How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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