How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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