What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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