Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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