What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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