What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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