Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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