A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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