How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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