Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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