What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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