What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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