What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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