Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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