What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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