What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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