Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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