They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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