I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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