I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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