I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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