I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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