I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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