I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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