I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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