I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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