I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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