I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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