A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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