A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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