A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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