A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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