A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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