A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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