A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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