A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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