A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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