A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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