A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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