A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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