A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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