A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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