A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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