A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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