A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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