A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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