A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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