A seal walks into a club...
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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