A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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