Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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