And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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