And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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