Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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