Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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