Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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