Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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