Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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