Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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