Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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