Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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