Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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