Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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