Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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