Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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