Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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