Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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