Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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