Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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