Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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