Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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