Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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