Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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