Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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