Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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