Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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