Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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