Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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