Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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