"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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