"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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