"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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