"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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