El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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