Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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