H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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