H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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