Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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