Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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