How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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