How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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