How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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