How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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