How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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