How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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