How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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