How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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