How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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