How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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