How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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