How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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