How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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