How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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