How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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