How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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