How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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