How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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