How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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