How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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