How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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