How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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