How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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