How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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