How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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