How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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