How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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