How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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