How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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