How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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