How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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