How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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