How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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