How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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