How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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