How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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