How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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