How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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