How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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