How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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