How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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