How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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