How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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