How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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