How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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