How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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