How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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