How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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