How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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