How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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