How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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