How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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