How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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