How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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