How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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