How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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