How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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