How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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