How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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