How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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