How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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