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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Four fonts walk into a bar
the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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