How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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