How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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