How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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