How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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