How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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