How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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