How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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