How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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