How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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