How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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