How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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