How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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