How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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