How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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