How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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