How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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