How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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