How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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