How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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