How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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