How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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