How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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