How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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