How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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