How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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