How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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